Gratecrashing and All Nighters.

The more i think about the list and my actions, the more i realise that if i can justify it to myself, then it is some how ok.

On this night i met two wonderful people, Charlene and Leonard. Sometimes in life you meet people you just click with, straight away. One of the wonderful things about getting old i guess, is that you can spot it instantly.

Charlene and some others had been invited to a party, I had not. But after justifying to myself that if asked, I could be Charlenes lesbian lover, I was happier to go univited.
Im so glad I did, we had a hoot.
I remember Leonard asking what shots i drank, and me replying i didnt. I should have known by his response of "You do now." that it would be a great night.

And it was a great night, drinking, laughing, dancing, chatting, meeting some great people.
Well  the three of us ended up back at my house (the bar the previous owners left is an easy draw).
And after i had whipped us up a couple of Strawberry Daquiris (containing none of the ingredients in a strawberry daquiri) the time flew.

I dont think i had spent so long laughing in years, nor did i realise that reading peoples face book posts drunk could be so hilarious....Charlene was a natural at this, with brilliant voices and tones to match the mood..........and honest to god time just flew.

I knew when the sun started to rise this would be my first all nighter.
There is something childishly exciting seeing the sunrise when you havent yet gone to bed.
It seems so simple, but it is truly a night i will remember forever.

Now the down side to this tale is my husband did awake to find and empty spot beside him and his wife downstairs and a strange man on the sofa.
But when asked at 3pm the next day, (me now feeling over tired and a tadge grumpy),
 "Was it really worth it?"
I was able to look at my husband with the most enormous smile and simply reply,
"YES!"

Stand Naked in the rain.

I once remember sitting with my dad in the lounge one rainy summers day when i was in my late teens. Me watching telly, he reading the paper.
 Suddenly, and without explanation, my mother walked past us and into the garden, completely naked, where she proceeded to walk out into the rain, lift her chin to the skies and slowly spin.
I remember thinking at the time, "mum's lost it" and looked over to my dad for some reassurance. This slight  reassurance came when dad just peered over the top of his paper, looked at her, for a brief second, and then continued to read as if it were an every day occurrence.

Now i get her completely.

This may appear an easy thing to achieve; to stand naked in the rain, but believe me, there is more to it than meets the eye. It wasn't until i had a couple of failed attempts did i succeed.

Attempt one was never going to be easy. By the time i had thought about it, convinced myself no one would spot me, got my dressing gown, got undressed and unlocked the back door, the rain had annoyingly stopped.

Attempt two was sightly better, i moved quicker, with less obstruction in my head.
 I made it naked from the downstairs loo to the back door and stood starkers outside.
But the rain had subsided to no more that a light shower. No where on my list did it say "Stand naked and be dribbled on".
Another failure, and  by this time my children had begun to wonder why i kept appearing with no clothes on evertime it rained.

Although attempt three was some time after, conditions were perfect and it was in fact my daughter who spotted this 'ideal standing naked in the rain' weather. She ran to me shouting "mum, mum its raining...and the suns out!!!........do it now!!!!"
And without hessitation i did, i stripped, walked out the back door and into the garden. The sun was shining, the rain was refreshing, and i stood arms stretched to the sides and slowly span.
As i lifted my chin and felt the drops on my face i felt truely alive xxx

Ive done it twice since and this summer will be looking for that perfect mix of sunshine and showers to do it again.
Truly liberating and i highly recommend it to everyone!!!

What make a sane 39 year old go mental?

Someone asked me last night why my 'wobbles' started and I feel that whilst my blogging is in its infancy, i should address what sends a sane woman mental.


1. I know the exact moment it started. I was having lunch with a friend who asked innocently if i could imagine living in the same house, with the same man for the next 40 years.
I hope in repeating her comment, that i have not sent you into a panic.
I had never thought of it before, and looking back, i wish I never had.

2. I have it all. I have 3 angel children, privately educated; a tolerant successful husband, and a house beyond my dreams. And that is where my troubles started. What do you aim for in the next 40 years of life, when you have materialistically more than you ever wished for?

3. As a feisty mother of 3 girls, it was always my aim to bring up strong independent women. The down side of strong independent daughters is that they very soon do not need mothering.

4. A stranger asked me if i was happy. An innocent question, but one no one had ever thought to ask me before....never in my life. And it made me think........Am i happy?


OK, enough with the heavy stuff...back to the list!!!!

Diving! (no not that sort of diving)

DIVING

There gets to a point in a woman's life that swimming no longer becomes enjoyable.
I think it comes after two or three experiences of getting cold, wet children and babies showered dried and dressed, whilst you stand shivering, desperate for the loo. Then when it is finally your turn, you discover all the towels are now wet and you have dried naturally.
And swimming? Do I ever get to swim? No. I get splashed, swam under (scratching my legs as they attempt to swim between them), used as a pushing post, and it is obviously totally enjoyable being dunked. Do I swim a stroke? No!
This I get, I understand it. Its not fun.

But when did I ever stop diving? I don't mean scuba diving or anything fancy, I just mean standing on the edge of a pool and diving in.
I did it as a kid and teenager so why not now?

Really if you think about it 1 second of courage and you're there.
So in the privacy of a private pool in France I did it!!!
Will I be doing it again? Oh yes but to save the embarrassment of my kids, i may choose to wear more than an easily removable bikini!!!

Stealing.

OK, this isn't quite as bad as it sounds.
I am quite an honest person and made it through till now without taking a single thing. Not a penny chew, not an eye liner in my teens, nothing. Now i don't know if its just me, but sometimes when i have items in my hands and no one is around, the thought of 'I could just take this and no one would know', does cross my mind, but obviously i never do.

On this day i was shopping in a large department store, squeezing in a quick shop for my nieces birthday. I had taken far to long to choose a few pieces of jewellery when the fire alarm went off. I was ushered out of the shop and found myself out side, in the cold, gifts in hand.
So i waited.
and waited.
"Sod this, I wont bother."
So i walk towards the door to return the goods back to the shop when this snooty shop assistant locked the door, right in front of me.
 I walk round the outside of the shop to the next door to find the same shop assistant smiling at me in a smug way and lock that door too.
 I do admit, i walked a lot slower to the third and final door, with visions of the jumped up assistant racing her way across the shop to beat me. If I'm honest, in my head I knew what i was going to do. She had beaten me. The door was locked and as i slipped the 'gifts' into my bag i justified my actions by convincing myself i would return to the shop to pay for them later. Of course i never did.

And as i walked away, i knew the time had come to start ticking things off my list.

Intoduction to 'The List'.

There gets to a time in your life when you feel you should have experienced certain things. I'm not talking skydiving or bungee jumping, but just basic things that really a woman in her 40's should have come across. I didn't sit down and create a list, I just kept notes on my phone and the more time went on, the more things emerged. And that is how my 'Things to do before I'm 40' began.