A little thought....

"All we know about the future is that it will be different. But perhaps what we fear is that it will be the same."


(& the second half of the quote, which at this time I am struggling with)

"So we must celebrate the changes. Because, as someone once said, everything will be all right in the end. And if it’s not all right, then trust me,it’s not yet the end."


Hotel Marigold.

Invisible

Even when I spontaneously start a naked aerobics routine on the landing, do a word perfect rendition of Aretha Franklin's 'Think' with Blues Brothers dance moves at the top of my voice during lunch or like today gyrating and singing 'If you want my body and you think I'm sexy' whilst wearing no more than a tiny candy cane striped g-string in the garden; I still remain invisible.

No one bats an eyelid.

Maybe my list is a way to feel part of this world, even if for a brief moment

Bingo-???????

I know half the nation loves it, and i knew i would have to try it, but i have never, ever had such an annoying night in my life.

Fisrtly there's the books.
 Now I would be more than happy just doing one line at a time, but no you have to keep your eyes on loads.

And do you cross, circle or dob???

 And where do you get dobbers from?

And why did no one tell me till half way though that the numbers were in lines?

And personally, there is nothing worse than having 1 number left to go for most of the game.

And the bingo caller could not have had a more dull drone to his voice.

Did I win? Obviously not or I would have loved it.
What did i learn?
Never to go again, and my best friends mum can swear like a trooper!!!

Why have I never eaten sushi?

People and lives change so much over time.

I look back to me at 21. I had bought my own flat, was ambitious, feisty and independent.
I often think if people i knew then could see me now, what a disappointment i would be.
Actually, if I (back then) could see myself now, i would be truly disappointed in myself.

And i think a lot of my list stemmed from the fact there are things in my life that i want to do that my husband doesn't.

SUSHI, being one of them. Why had I never been to a sushi bar because he doesn't like sushi?

And i think that is an important part of a mid life thing. The realisation that we are our own person.

"Your idea of fun and mine are completely different"

I am a wife and mother, but I am also me, Emma. I no longer know what i give to the world, but jeeezzz, I need to find it.

Self worth

I sit here in my big house and look around me.
Nothing i see has come from money i have earnt.
Dont get me wrong, money is shared in our house, I can spend it how and when i like, and i am happy to. Just not on me.

I wear jeans and a t shirt, boots with holes in, Primark labels and i eat value food, will only buy a coffee occasionally and drink tap water when out.
I have not been made to feel this way, but never the less, i do.

Yes you may argue I have supported my husband so enable him to become the great success he is today, but it gets to a point where you want it for yourself.
Just saying x